Reflections on the Blog

As May 20th approaches I am looking to restart up on all my online activity I am reflecting on my online interaction up until this point. I have made many mistakes some strategic some social. May people do. What stands out to me as a success is an unbashful and honest look into my life with aspersers. I have gone into some sensitive content. I have talked about stuff that many people do not usually bring up. I want you to make an informed opinion on what people like me go through. For this reason, I stand behind the blog and hope other artists are looking to make a statement about their vision for a kinder world.   

Social Anxiety About Hurting People with a Lack Social Cues

For any young man talking to girls is hard. We just do not understand everything that goes on in their head. For me, I find my self confused when I look at the action that most people take talking to girls. I want to get into a relationship however the lack of social cues leads to severe anxiety about accidentally hurting someone. I want to find a single girl to be in a relationship with. I find that it is hard enough to make friends start with.  I have met many a girl that I would gladly pour my art for however, I do not have the social skill to have a non-business relationship. Most of my friends alone started a business relationship.

Asperger's pros ans cons

Having Asperger’s makes many things easier however makes many things harder. It is easy to have the drive and to working something no one else is building. It relay helps in building new ideas. On the other hand, it is next to impossible to understand how to make basic friendships.  It can an immense challenge to organize my everyday living and to fit into regular social groups. It is easy to talk to people when working on a problem that needs solving or idea that needs bleeding. You feel socially isolated and want meaningful friendships.

Artificial Creativity: Part 3 Your Image is You: Owning Your Image Not What You do with it

Like other innovation through history. The railroads connected us and controlled the exchange of product services. The railroad makes the last major connection of the image. They can bring what an individual of business creates and send it to another entity. What is different about the internet is for the first time it is not the major connection of one image to another, the internet image and the other. Internet company's control the image its self. This has all sorts of implications. Your image is how you are and should be the curator of your image and of you, not the mindless cog in wheal siphoning your identity.

Trying to Understand A Girl as Someone with Asperger's

There is a girl that I know that I think is checking me out when I see her. This does not bother me however when I try to talk to here she just looks at me and does not say anything. I can ask here to talk to means she chooses not to. That is her choice and  I can replace that. I am confused as for why she keeps checking me out. I am trying to understand why she looks at me the say she does. I think she wants something to change however I do not know what. Is he does why does she keep checking me out? All I want is to have an open convention with me.

Restarting Faces

I got heat form someone in my personal life for the post of sexual understanding. At that point, I spent some time thinking about how I wanted to go forwarded with that autism thing. For this, I have not posted lately. I see in my website analytics that the posts of autism are still the most popular. This is cool as we need to have a conversation on it.  I will be posting to the blogs every day.

Conversation with People

I try to talk to people at the arts campus I am at, and many of them will not even answer to me saying hi. I just want to be a friend. I admit I am not sure how to start a conversation with them. I can start a convention with Professional artist and CEO’s I can start a business conversation.  I can talk about anything when there is a logical purpose. Ideas in the abstract I can handle If is next to impossible for me to carry a convention that is about what people my age want to talk about for fun at a community college. It is not that it is beneath me; it is that it is harder for me to navigate small talk then it is to distance a Ph.D. thesis.

My Mental State: Part 1 8:00 am in the morning.

If I wake up before 11:00 am I am sedated When I am up an 8:00 I am Tully exhausted. Think of true sleep exhaustion; that is what I experience. It not that my body is tired. After all, I have just wake up. It that that for the whole morning up until close to noon my mind it fighting a disposition that makes it think I need sleep. This aggravating exhaustion does not happen to I have sleep. It makes is nest to impossible to function. It is worse before 8:00 am and goes away by noon. It gets to the point that I can act drunk on the sedative effect I feel.

Struggles in Communicating With Me.

I have tried talking to people and had them get angry at something the feel I said. In reality, I almost always am trying to say something else. My ideas have many barriers to come out in a say that most people can understand and react to in a way that addresses what I am trying to communicate. The first is that my ideas are a complex web of what seems to most people as disconcerted points. They are only relateable through … read more

Autism: On Sexual Understanding: Part 2 More General Idea

After a week of reflection and talking to people, I trust about how the social context of the situation I wrote. I have been assured that I did not do anything wrong. Moreover, that as soon as she ended consent is stopped. I will not go a further in the specifics I want to talk about broader issues. As a feminist, I feel very strongly that we need to give a voice to all people and that we all need to feel safe. This only happened though conversion. As someone how has the sexual experience and undertaking of someone much younger than me, it is challenging to navigate a world of people my age that have much more knowledge in the area. We need to take a look at how to be host about how we feel with another whether it is romantic or in any other part of life. Lots of people struggle with mix messages. As someone with ASD, I am still learning much of what is common knowledge to people my age.

ASD and Innovation

ASD is a cure on being accepted in everyday life. It is also the bedrock of building change. Challenging these norms is needed in a world where the norms are unstainable greed and bigotry. Basing work in social change is not synonymous with anarchy. In my post-classical conservative feminism, it talks about this. Bing unable to fit in and having as single-minded pursuit of one specific discipline, leads to innovation. The free-speaking mind of someone does not fit in often leads to persecution of one's endeavors.

The Ignorant

I saw a lady at the grocery store as a question to a customer he clearly was not comfortable answering. The women like virtually everyone on the planet wanted to make the world a better place.

 Here is what came to mind. Curiosity is not a crime if anything is in too short a supply.  Innocence is not a crime either, just the denial of it of it is unjust.  The one who is ridiculed even by kindness is charged with the duty to teach the common folk what questions to ask. Even is the artist is exposed.

The Story Giving Permission or Self Growth.

A good story has good and evil in it. We as creatives build narratives that help people learn about themselves. We are all flawed and trying to fix those flaws is what gives life meaning. We can not always act on the parts of us that we need to explore for growth. Internal chose and insecurity is where we might turn to look at a piece of art for help. It gives up a safe place to look at those parts of our selves. As storytellers, we need to look at we try to understand our selves. We need to look at the hard questions and try to work through them with our creative processes. This act of selfless sharing is how others feel permission to share their growth with themselves and others.

Autism: Transparency on Sexual Understanding: Part 1 Social Logic and Convoluted Data

I want to understand how to talk to people. I say and do things based on data I am given. I think of one set of input as a logical need for output. One thing happens to me, and that means I do this. That is how I understand basic human interaction. I can empathize and conjecture, however only on an abstract level. In any given action someone does I can only think of as this means that.

The problem is when I confuse inputs when I think someone is doing or saying one thing and they are doing another. The was a girl how said one thing to me then she seemed to say the exact opposite. I went with what I thought she was saying louder. I thought she was trying to flirt with me. I thought she was trying to get close to me. She was physically rubbing up on me and pushing on me. That is how it seemed. I do not believe in graphic sexual descriptions online. The point is that as far as I was aware we were reciprocating each other’s actions. I fear that I was….read more

War and Peace:  Projecting Innocence on to What We do not Understand  

People often confuse eccentricity for innocence. When I have a moment of quirkiness, and people hear I am autistic, they see me as someone how has yet to understand the burdens and pleasure of life. Many of these people have an average set of life experiences. The truth is that I see the world through the lens of humanities dance of decadence in a world of dangerous natural forces. I short am how the average citizen of my country is fundamentally innocent when it comes to the crises of human perception.  Global cooperation will take acceptance of our impact on each other and the world.  Peace will only happen when we stop projecting our innocence on what we do not understand. 

Asperger's: All at once Instead of A Bit of a Time

 I find it hard to do things in stages. Once I start something, I like to finish it. It is part of perseverating a fixating on any given task and transitioning holds for waking and sleeping. I find it hard to transition into sleeping and equally as hard to wake back up.

For this reason, I write all my blog posts for the day the night before. I can faces on them all at once, and I do not need to worry about waking up. To wake up an 8:00 to write a blog post does not work for me I tried it over Saturday and Sunday.

Why Not Fitting in is Part of Being an Artist

I find it hard to fit in. I was always bullied as a kid for being different. It can be hard to see everyone else grow up to be safe in the group of people that are easily accepted as cool or easy to talk to get more close together. It does not make life easier to have many high-level abstract ideas. It can be hard to half to translate what keeps your mind engaged into a whole other langue for most people to underhand. It is not easy being on the outside of sociality. The idea that people how to want to build a world where we can be underused help all people understand each other is not one I wrapped my head around unlit I became an adult. Building Community Is the lesson that made me an artist.